Asking for Help

This is a longish story, but there really is a connection to entrepreneurs! Stay with me and see if the story fits your experience too.

The argument 

Once upon a time, a few months after both my children left home, I looked around and realized that everywhere I looked there was something that bugged me. Dust bunnies here, piles of clutter there, a winter’s grime on the windows, a half-finished project radiating “guilt! guilt! guilt!” You get the idea. Perhaps you’ve been there too. 

The flickering of a thought in the back of my mind whispered, “Get help with cleaning.” The next thought I had was, “That’s ridiculous.”  

For the next few minutes, I had what I would now call an argument between my wisest self and my judgmental self. Well actually, only the judgmental self was speaking. “I didn’t have cleaning help all the years I was raising kids and working long hours and so busy and could really use the help. Why now? There’s just me and I should be able to blahblahblah...” 

Capitulation? 

I did a few flurries of cleaning activity, but it never really made a difference. Finally one day I couldn’t stand the mess any more. I put an ad in our local paper, asking for someone to help clean my home. 

The first few calls were discouraging. The applicants mostly talked about what they wouldn’t do, and how much they charged. “I don’t do windows, I don’t vacuum and I cost more than a doctor or lawyer” was the recurring theme. 

It seemed ironic. I had finally “capitulated” by asking for help, and the kind of help I wanted didn’t seem to be out there.  

Deserving 

About the time I decided that I was going to wait until I found someone who would simply take over everything to do with keeping the house clean, I got another phone call. 

“Are you still looking for someone to clean your house?” a hesitant voice asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m a corner cleaner,” the voice said.

“Pardon me?”

“I clean in the corners, not just the places you can see.” 

And so Iris came into my life. 

My angel  

When I met her in person, I realized I had known Iris when we were both growing up. Her name was different now. She had just left an abusive situation, moved back to town with no money, and hoped maybe she could support herself and her children by cleaning. 

She was my angel! The first time she cleaned my home, she mentioned, “I polished the back of the piano.” I was astonished. “Well, if you don’t polish it, dust collects back there,” she explained. It had never occurred to me to imagine that degree of cleanliness. 

My home sparkled in every corner. No dust bunny would dare enter the space. When Iris was coming the next day, I would tidy up so she could clean. I discovered it was easy to stay on top of clutter when it was only a week old. Everywhere I looked, the floors gleamed, the bathrooms sparkled, cupboards and drawers were organized, the windows were crystal clear. Heaven! 

I was amazed by how much more secure I felt, how much better I could think and how my mood improved when my home was pristine. I saw other easy things to do so it would be more beautiful. Everywhere I looked there was something that delighted my senses. My home truly became my sanctuary and part of my support system. 

Spreading the sparkles 

Of course I raved about Iris to all my friends and relatives. A few of them asked if she would work for them too. They raved to their friends and relatives. In very little time, Iris had “a full practice.” A few years later, Iris learned to drive for the first time in her life, got a driver’s licence and bought a car. A few years after that, Iris bought a house. I was thrilled to see how she flourished. 

The challenge and the gift for entrepreneurs 

Iris is my symbol of the challenge and the value of asking for help. 

For all kinds of reasons, it may be hard for entrepreneurs to ask for help. Maybe we are embarrassed, or think we can’t afford help or shouldn’t need help. Maybe we don’t believe the right kind of help even exists, or we don’t know what to ask for. Maybe we value independence and think if we get help we’ll lose control. Whatever. 

We may find it difficult to ask for help, yet over and over we learn that as entrepreneurs we cannot do everything alone. If we don’t get help we will not succeed. Period. 

That’s the challenge. 

The gift? Over and over I learn (and hear the same kind of story from other entrepreneurs) that when we accept our situation and ourselves exactly as we are, when we overcome our reluctance to ask for help and are open to receive the perfect kind of help, then the perfect kind of help shows up.

And when that happens, as in the story of Iris and me, the benefits to everyone involved go far beyond what any of us could ever have imagined.

Your Coaching Challenge

1.  Pick one part of your life that is bugging you, where you know you need help.

2.  Notice what makes you reluctant to ask for help.

3.  For each source of reluctance, imagine 3 things you could do to overcome that reluctance. Make a game of it, make it ridiculous, so the reluctance become humorous instead of a barrier. (That shifts the “blocking” or “resisting” energy and helps it to dissipate.)

4.  Imagine what your life is like when the situation that is bugging you is gone.

5.  Take one step to ask for the perfect kind of help to show up in your life.

Going Global

Imagine what the world would be like if each of us was able to ask for and receive exactly the kind of help we need and want that is perfect for us.

Comments

[Sandra Martini]

Hi Bonnie,

Thanks so much for sharing this article!

It speaks to how your asking for help not only helped you, it also helped the person you asked.

Your one request changed both you AND her lives...especially with your raving reviews about her.

So by asking for help, we have the ability to make a positive impact in the lives of those around us, as well as in our own life.

Thank you!

Sandy :-)